


True Love Will Find You in the End

by lilleiaorgana



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Depressed Ikari Shinji, Eyepatch Asuka, F/M, Mom Misato, Post-The End of Evangelion, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:26:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26227126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilleiaorgana/pseuds/lilleiaorgana
Summary: After the end, Asuka and Shinji find their way to Germany and begin a new life. Together.
Relationships: Ikari Shinji/Souryuu Asuka Langley, Kaji Ryouji/Katsuragi Misato
Comments: 1
Kudos: 48





	1. Prequel

"Did you enjoy that?" 

Shinji laid on his back down, looking at the nothingness of the orange ocean. There was nothing but Asuka and Asuka knew everything. He knew everything about her now. She was sitting beside him, staring at Rei's head with tears in her eye like she had been for hours. Tears never fell. Asuka just sat there and blinked the same tears back. Maybe they were new tears for new ideas that sprang up in her head. 

Shinji turned over, not even wanting to look at her. 

"I asked you if you enjoyed that." She asked harshly, her words stinging like alcohol rub. "Answer me. Answer me!"

"Do you love me?" He whispered. 

She stood up faster than her legs wanted to, her body wobbling like a newborn animal's. She groaned and cried out, touching her arm and panting hard. She was suppressing a scream despite wanting nothing more for the past god only knows how many hours to scream into that void at Rei's big fucking head. Shinji looked at her, more afraid that he was going to lose her now than he had been when her body was being eaten alive by monsters. 

He held her, taking the brunt of the fall as she tumbled down into his arms, sobbing into his shoulder about how bad it hurt. He looked at her face, her beautiful face, now missing an eye. 

"I didn't." He held her like she was a baby, cradling her in his arms. "I didn't enjoy hurting you." 

Asuka touched his chest, the buttons on his shirt and sighed out heavily. "If I didn't love you, wouldn't I still be in that pool of LCL?"

It isn't meant to be mean, but it felt mean to Shinji. If Misato loved him, she'd be back... 

"I want to hear you say it." Shinji gritted his teeth, trying not to cry any more. 

Asuka sat up and sighed, looking at him. "I do love you, Shinji. I have nothing left to lose now, but you. So you get to hear me say it. You're the only person I've ever loved and now you might be the only person I ever will."

Shinji could hear the disappointment in her voice. "Why... why do you say it like that?"

"I'm 14." She scoffed. "I should fall in love tons of times and continue to and maybe never even settle. You wouldn't understand. You're a settler." 

Shinji frowned, "So you think I take some kind of satisfaction in thinking you might be the only woman left alive?"

Asuka groaned, looking behind them for any sign of life before looking at him again. "I don't want to get into this, okay? I'm tired. I died. I died really hard and it hurt worse than any pain you could ever imagine. I was in..."

She took a moment, letting that grief wash over her for a moment. Letting that sink in, the words that had been dangling in her head for hours. 

"Asuka?" Shinji leaned in, looking at her worriedly. He knew she'd been in pain and thought she might finally take her anger out on him for not helping her sooner. 

"I was in heaven." She whispered. "I died and I went to heaven. I saw my mother and I... I think I saw your mom. She looked like Rei and you. I saw this older version of myself so far away, through a window. I looked through the window and I saw myself cooking with this really tall man. I was laughing and we were singing but that song... the song from your S-DAT. The sad one played. The one that reminded you of Rei... the song about the mirror." 

"Spiegel im spiegel." He swallowed thickly, looking at her. 

"Yeah, that one." Asuka eye went distant, her face colorless and her body stiff. "You grabbed me and you kissed me and... I felt it. I know it was you. I've kissed you enough to know what your lips feel like against mine." 

Shinji's face grew hot and he watched her carefully, almost scared. 

"It didn't look like we were the only two people alive. But maybe that's what could've been. Maybe that's what my mind showed me to put me at ease." She whispered.

Shinji touched her, his hand moving up her arm and handing at her good shoulder. She sighed and closed her eye, laying on her back. He moved to lay on the beach with her, looking at her peacefully as she smiled sadly. Maybe she was thinking about that. 

"I didn't know you loved me like that." Shinji muttered. "Because you never showed it. You were so-"

"Shut up." She groaned, looking at him with that old familiar irritation. "Shut the fuck up. It's over, Ikari. Are you going to hold it over my head for the rest of our fucking lives? What if it's just us, huh? How would you like it if I reminded you constantly that you jerked off to my unconscious body after I tried to kill myself?"

Shinji made a face, not liking that concept. He'd forgotten about that for a bit, a lot had happened after all. "I'm so-"

Asuka pushed him before he could finish. "It's over! Forget about it! Blank slate! You and me, we figure out what's wrong- we move on, we rebuild life." 

Shinji stared at her, wondering if he wanted to be with her forever now. He wanted to before he knew he had to actually. He sighed and eventually nodded, knowing what was good for them. Rest of his life. 


	2. Episode One: My Best Girl Asuka Langley

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Six Years Later

Shinji waited at the small bakery, inhaling the scent of freshly baked goods and deli meat on the other side of the store. He'd stood here many times, picking out breads and some treats for the week while Asuka picked out meats and cheeses for the week. It was their Sunday activity, Saturday was farmer markets and regular market after. Shinji looked down at his cellphone at the growing texts of "Where are you???" coming from her. He cleared the notifications on his shattered phone screen, looking at the background of her in bed with her face painted like a clown. It was no Sunday. It was a special Friday. He'd taken the day off and so had she. 

"Herr Ikari?" The cashier called for him.

Shinji walked up to the counter, digging his wallet out and inserting his credit card, smiling at the big German in front of him. He had to have been at least six inches taller than Shinji, who was already standing at a decent size. 

"Danke." Shinji took the big white box and carefully walked out to his car, buckling it in safely and connecting his phone to the bluetooth of the car.

After a few rings, Asuka picked up. "I'm in the bath, where are you?" 

Shinji smiled at that, turning left and mumbling under his breath about a slow driver. "Yeah, I'm coming home now. Things got hairy at work. I'm sorry, Asuka. When's the reservation?"

"In two hours." She sighed, sounding stressed. 

"What's wrong?" Shinji asked, picking up on her tone. "I will be home and you should be done bathing by then..."

"Felix and Georgianna cancelled." She pouted, her toe touching one of the rose petals that had popped out of her bath bomb. "And Marco said he'd be late!"

Shinji sighed and picked up speed, passing a driver. "I'm sorry, hon. They suck, though. We have this talk every event you plan. They always bail."

"It's just hard... they work late and-"

"Asuka, last time they bailed they were at a concert." He reminded her gently. 

Asuka groaned loudly, "It just sucks making a reservation for ten people and only having five there." 

"Five? I thought you said only Felix and Georgianna were bailing... Marco's only late... that's three. You'd still have seven people. Who else fucking bailed?" Shinji furrowed his brow.

"Did you go on your phone at all today? Misato's little dummy is still sick." Asuka sighed. "So that counts out Misato and Kaji."

Shinji switched lanes and chuckled, "That little dummy is our godchild, remember." 

"Yeah, yeah. She's a pest." She snorted. 

"She's a lot like you." Shinji grinned. 

"Well, we did watch her all the time..." She muttered, the sound of the tub draining echoing in Shinji's car.

Shinji pulls down his street to their apartment. "You miss watching Aiko, I know you do."

"It's all I did when I was a teenager!" She complained. 

"You didn't want to get a real job." Shinji smirked, pulling into the parking structure and groaning as his spot was taken, pulling into another. "We'll continue this in a second. Stay naked."

"Jesus Chris-" Asuka began until Shinji hung up.

* * *

"Can I have a piece now?" Asuka bat her fake lashes at him, rolling half on him. 

Shinji took a drag of his cigarette and licked his lips, looking at her. He almost wished he'd buy a damn ring already, just be married for the hell of it. They'd been together on and off since they were 14 years old. The off had been long, boys and girls between them before they'd just agreed to stick together until it felt wrong. But twenty felt too young to be married. He still felt too young to be married, even if they lived like a married couple. Maybe they always had been, in a way. She grabbed the cigarette and took a drag before laying her head on his chest, the cigarette sliding between his fingers once more. 

"Later." He rubbed her back and scratched lightly, relishing in the hum she made. 

"Your 'two desserts for birthdays' and sweets every week is really killing my waistline." She snorted, looking up at him again. 

Shinji grinned, putting the cigarette out and holding her waist. "Oh, baby. What are you, a 24 inch now? My apologies, I suppose we'll never have sweets again. Maybe I'll start making Japanese food again and you'll lose weight again."

Asuka didn't laugh the way Shinji wanted her to. Instead, she looked sad. Shinji sighed and kissed her forehead. 

"Come on, talk to me." He whispered, like he often had to. Depression became part of Asuka as she got older. It's something they both closely monitored. As Shinji grew out of his, he had to watch her grow into it. 

"Do you miss it? it was your home..." She looked at him, two blue eyes shining with tears. If he looked closely, he could tell her left eye was prosthetic. It moved half a second slower than her right eye and was a darker blue by half a shade. Only he'd notice from knowing her for so long, from being so close to her face, from being so stupid over her for all those years. 

Shinji kissed her, "Yes. I miss Japan. I hate that it's gone, knowing I'll never go back because it's nothing now. But I don't want to, at least not now or for a while."

Asuka held his face and thought about how glad she was that he'd grown to look more like his mother than his father. Shinji was handsome. A bit gaunt around the eyes, but smooth and handsome and fit. But then sometimes, she'd see Rei Ayanami's big head floating in the water and she'd wonder why she wasn't nicer to that girl. 

"We don't have to stay in Germany forever, you know." She mumbled, "We could move to France... to Spain... to the States..." 

"The East coast is so full of people." Shinji wrinkled his nose, kissing hers. "I like Germany, okay? I like my home like I like my women."

Asuka pushed him off of her and snorted, looking back as she put her dress on. "I hate you for that one."

Shinji grinned, getting up and pulling his underwear on, grabbing clean slacks out of the dresser. "You'll change your mind after dinner when we get back home and get in our pajamas and eat that cake in the fridge." 

Asuka backed into him, shaking her backside for him to zip her into the black cocktail dress. He kissed her spine and inhaled her scent. She leaned against him, "Mmm, I love birthdays." 

* * *

That Saturday, Asuka and Shinji sat at a diner, waiting for Misato and Aiko Kaji to arrive. They sipped coffee and sighed impatiently, quickly grinning and playing it off as Aiko ran towards them. 

"Happy birthday, Auntie!" Aiko hollered, wrapping her arms around her tightly. 

Asuka squeezed her and hummed, "Thank you, sweet girl." 

Shinji stood up and smiled at Misato, hugging her and sighing. "No husband today?"

Misato rolled her eyes, "He's working over time. He had to stay back with Aiko a few days this week." 

Shinji rolled his eyes now, "Always devoted to his job..."

"Oh please, he hates his job. If he could stay at home and play video games all day long while I worked, he'd be in paradise." Misato scoffed, watching Aiko and Asuka talk about school. "She wants a kid so bad..."

Shinji looked at her with wide eyes, "You don't... she doesn't."

Misato raised her brows, "She hasn't said it but I know she does. She holds Aiko like she's not a seven year old. She likes to be needed. She plays hard and-"

"We're not ready for that. She's got that birth control thing and I'm fine with not being a father yet." Shinji sighed. "I keep... waiting for something."

Misato knew it wasn't a sign from god. She let it slide as she slid into the booth and hugged her daughter to her. They ordered big breakfasts and talked for a while even after, only for them to come over to Shinji and Asuka's place. Asuka gave Aiko a bath after Aiko managed to get syrup and chocolate milk all up and down herself. Misato smoked a cigarette on the balcony with Shinji. 

"Are you waiting for angels?" She asked him abruptly, picking up the conversation Shinji made himself forget. 

Shinji looked at the wooden box on the table, where he and Asuka kept joints and other means of relaxation in terms of escaping reality. He sighed, knowing it was best not to with Aiko around. 

"Yeah, don't you?" He asked softly. 

"I can't afford to think like that." Misato blew out and groaned. "Because there's no Nerv, no Seele left. We'd have to bui-"

"Who is this we?" Shinji raised a brow. "It's not you or me, or Asuka."

Misato sighed and lit another cigarette, "The Americans are preparing for the worst, my husband heard. He knows better than to involve himself more than that."

Shinji looked at Misato's shaking hand. "There haven't been any angels though, why would they prepare? We defeated them. It was over. Why would they come back? Why would-"

Misato looked at him, a maternal and pointed look that told him to shut the fuck up. "I don't know. I just know what I know. Okay?"

Shinji sighed and looked at her as she closed her eyes, Misato was more beautiful as a mother. Her hips widened, her hair grew longer and she never cut it even when Aiko pulled at it. She looked like a Raphaelites painting. Thirty five looked good on Misato Kaji, he just wished that she hadn't felt like she had to grow up so fast. When Misato remerged from the LCL, had been in Belarus during her pregnancy. Kaji was in South Korea, unaware Misato was alive or had even been pregnant. Misato hadn't even known she was pregnant, but it made plenty of sense once she made herself consider it. Kaji had agreed that Aiko had been a parting gift he'd prayed for, that a pregnancy would take Misato out of her position at Nerv and take her away from it all, but things hadn't gone as expected. 

Misato Katsuragi proved that you could get shot in the gut three times before a building blew up and still manage to be reborn from the end of God's smiting on the sinner's a pregnant woman. She who was once a child of a grown woman, soon became a mother, then a wife all in six years time. Shinji had just been glad she'd found them after Asuka gave a notable eulogy for her father after he passed that went viral internationally for her anger and Shinji's inability to stop her on camera in front of all of what was left of Germany. This had allowed Misato to move infant Aiko and herself from Belarus to Berlin, where she lived with Asuka and Shinji in another shitty apartment. Things had been normal for a time, or as normal as they had once been. Asuka stayed home during the day with Aiko while Shinji finished high school, as Asuka had technically already even graduated university in Germany. Misato found work at big whig company that she found herself working up the ladder quickly. Shinji worked at night and Asuka for a moment had too, but quit because she felt bad for leaving Misato alone with Aiko after working all day long. Then Kaji showed up. Marriage. End of story.

Shinji nodded, "Fine. But yeah, I'm afraid. And if it's not angels, it's that I'll become my father."

Misato cringed at that, "You could never be him. Asuka busts your balls too hard."

He smiled and sighed, "She's afraid of becoming her mother and... I'm afraid of that too." 

"Is she really depressed again?" Misato asked softly, worriedly. 

Shinji shrugged, "It's kinda getting bad again, I think. She keeps talking about Japan and the old days. Yesterday, she kept looking through Hikari's social media and cried about how none of them talk to us anymore."

"You guys did leave Asia..." Misato reminded him. 

"It was my idea." He sighed, "I wanted to make her happy. Germany seemed the way to do that and I for sure knew that it was still somewhat around after everything. It seemed right but now I feel like I fucked up."

"Shinji." Misato put her hand on his shoulder and sighed. "Asuka loves you and she will be fine. I'll talk to her, okay?" 

Shinji turned and watched Asuka and Aiko chase each other around. "She's only 20." 

Misato nodded and sighed, "So are you." 

Shinji watched her, watching as Asuka stood straighter and looked at him through the glass door. She grinned, catching Aiko without looking as Aiko jumped off the couch and into her arms. 

"Is he alive, Misato?" Shinji asked softly. "Is my father alive?"

Misato looked down, "I don't know."

"Liar." 


End file.
